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I believe I started writing on diaryland when I was 20-21ish. That would have been about 18 years ago. I wrote a lot about my friends, college, being in a band, and one boy in particular. A boy who, at the time, it felt like my whole world revolved around. A boy who was mostly just my best friend, although we dated quite briefly. A boy who I haven’t talked to in about 10 years, which is probably for the best.

I wrote about going to concerts, and late night shenanigans, art projects, other boys, traveling, and feeeeeling every word of ‘Title Track’ by Death Cab for Cutie. (Cue eye roll about that last part).

Somewhere along the way I met my REAL real best friend. We got married and made some babies. We made some good decisions and some bad ones. We grew up a lot. He’s still in a band and I’m still trying to make peace with the fact that I’m almost 40 and a mom.

All of this to say, the things that consume my thoughts now are vastly different than the things that consumed my thoughts at 20, as they should be. Tonight I am up thinking about the fact that I have once again jumped into homeschooling my two girls. In spite of an almost full time job and chronic illness on my part. I must be crazy.

But no, I just want the best for my people. Especially as my oldest is only 7 years away from 20, her own adventures, and pining over some guy. And between now and then I want to make sure she is able to learn and flourish and be and do so much more than I was able to during those years.

And also our school district is absolute crap.

One thing that will never change for me, however - I am a wordy mofo when I drink.

12:55 a.m. - 2018-01-08

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