How it is
I was going to talk about how things feel one month post diagnosis:
About how I thought I'd be happy to know, to have a path forward, to be clearly heard and know it's not all been in my head. But it mostly just feels empty. I have put almost all of myself into this - sacrificed so much - and now it just feels...
Like, what was I thinking? It would be over? It's just the beginning of the fight. But I need a moment, and I don't know that I'll get it. I don't know that I will EVER really get it. That moment, that down time, that opportunity to catch my breath. It has made me realize that I probably need to see someone and work through all of this.
I love my kids, to the moon and back, but I don't think there is anything more exhausting or isolating than being a special needs parent. I cannot imagine parenting a child with truly severe needs. Those people must be saints. I'm barely making it though the day some days.
Anyhow, I was gonna post about all of that, but then I got ticked because my layout was looking janky, and since I'm actually posting more than once a year (for now at least) I'd like it to look semi decent.
12:06 a.m. - 2017-08-09