swan lake
Last night I stayed up to finish a book. I read until the sliver of sky I can see from my bed turned from black to blue behind a lacy canopy of cypress leaves.
It's the kind of thing that's good for my soul - not just reading a good book, but stealing those quiet hours just for myself.
***
Today we met my parents and sister for a belated birthday lunch, as my parents have been traveling most the past two months.
The lunch was nice, but I left in so much pain, plus I hate using my cane in public. Now I am resting and listening to the new King Krule album.
***
While getting ready I found a ceramic ballet slipper in my purse. It is three inches long, robin's egg blue, with a faded pink fabric flower near the toe. My parents gave it to me after a ballet recital when I was nine. We danced to the "Swan Theme" from Swan Lake and my costume matched the slipper.
For years it was a delicate memento of girlhood, hanging above the desk in my childhood bedroom. Now it is just another thing swimming in the bottom of my bag, where it's been since my mother gave it to me when we last saw my parents in early April.
This is probably a metaphor for... something? The dissolution of childhood dreams? Ha.
***
One last quote from Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, which I finished a couple of days ago:
Memory, you realized long ago, is a game that a healthy-brained person can play all the time, and the game of memory is won or lost on one criterion: Do you leave the formation of memories to happenstance, or do you decide to remember?
4:51 p.m. - 2023-06-11