mundanity
As an introvert, married to an extrovert, I find myself so incredibly in need of quiet and solitude this weekend.
The husband has a sudden surplus of downtime. The band is on break at least through the end of the year. This is the previously aforementioned work of the destroyer - he got black-out drunk at practice a few weeks ago and managed to say something so out of line that everyone needs a break from him for a while. I had hoped he would mature with time, but he’s still pulling the same shit he did when we were 18. We all grew up around him and he's barely changed. I’m mystified that, of all of my old friends, he’s the one who is still in my life. Although, not so much my choice at this point.
For several years I found the music thing difficult - the shows, the occasional tours, the weeks spent recording. Things shifted with time. The overwhelm of being a young parent passed, and I got better at communicating my limits. The husband learned to turn down opportunities and stopped picking up gigs drumming with other bands. He took some time off and, when the guys decided to form the current band back in 2014, I was able to give my whole-hearted support.
I realize it’s so much more than the time off for Cory - it’s the temporary loss of a creative outlet coupled with the circumstances that have led to this break. They’ve had to cancel a few shows, including one at the Kessler I had really hoped to attend.
His way of coping has been spending time in the kitchen - pickling and cooking and baking all weekend while watching movies. Meanwhile I have desperately wanted to read and listen to something, preferably the new(ish) Angelo de Augustine album. The upside is that I can draw and paint while watching tv with him. The downside is that I can practically feel my thoughts vibrating and my patience waning.
Really might delete this later. Feels petty to be frustrated by a husband who makes me bread and pickled carrots. Further proof that I am probably an asshole.
5:52 p.m. - 2023-07-30