monarch
Enough of this. Enough.
I was starting down the same path this morning, finding different words for the same thing. The always thing. The one that shifts shape but will never grow lighter. Forever heavy.
It’s like grieving a death, minus the death. Just impenetrable distance and years of lost time.
It’s a form of masonry, each brick a reminder of what went wrong. Those reminders form a wall that conceals everything else. What is left, the things I allow myself to remember, they are only a caricature.
And now, even in this space, the rest will have to remain unsaid. Those unspoken words could fill all of the years and all of the distance and still not be sufficient.
Because I was insufficient.
6:50 a.m. - 2023-06-23