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I think I’ve finally been released.
I let my mind wander.
I fully gave in. I allowed the thoughts to push ahead, full steam. For once I didn’t suppress them. I allowed myself to feel it all.
I’ve never understood why it bothers me so much. My own feelings are often enigmatic - even to me. So I followed every rabbit trail, every fucked up fantasy. Why haven’t I been able to let this go for the past twenty years?
And damnit! Why didn’t I allow myself this indulgence years ago? Because in the conclusion I realized one simple, life-altering, freeing truth:
People change.
I’ve kept tabs enough to know that I don’t think I’d like you. Not who you’ve become. And you may very well not like me. So why have you haunted me for so long? What is the point?
I once complained that your existence was the persistent drip of a faucet, a constant reminder of what was, what was no longer, and what could have been.
No more. No more.
For real this time, goodbye Ghost. I genuinely wish you well. But I will not miss you.
12:02 a.m. - 2021-01-11