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There is a void now, where all of the anger and lack of closure used to be. I haven’t figured out what to fill it with yet.
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Health-wise I’ve been seeing major gains overall, but the last week and a half has been hard. If anything is off that could even remotely be construed as heart stuff my anxiety shoots through the roof and then I think that the anxiety is heart stuff and then it’s just this black hole of anxiety. Chronic illness sucks in so many ways, but especially when you don’t know what symptoms to lump in with your condition(s) vs which are serious. Anyhow, anxiety is the worst.
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The husband is back to playing shows. We are all vaxxxed up over here. We are going to see a comedian next week as a belated birthday gift. The girls are doing so well. It’s hard to believe that this time last year not only were we in the midst of covid but that both girls were having severe mental
health crises. Normal is nice but it feels odd after such a long and terribly hard year.
Anyhow, tomorrow we are celebrating my birthday with my family even though it was two weeks ago. I pray I am still alive to see 43 and that I can continue on this journey of reclaiming at least part of what illness has taken from me.
11:09 p.m. - 2021-06-04